Monday, February 4, 2013

Health is the groundwork to hapiness...

I've got to be honest, with all of you and myself. I have been a bad bad girl the last two weeks. I have been in a funk as if you couldn't tell by my depressing posts. Being a single mom is just something I'm really struggling with right now. But putting my health on the back burner these last two weeks like I have isn't doing me any favors. I've been too depressed to move too far from my bed. I have litterally shit my pants because I chose to eat unhealthy things and my body wasn't happy with me at all.

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And I don't care if it makes me poop myself either

SO now I have to cleanse. And start over. Honestly this has to stop happening. I always have a good few months, then I completely fall apart. I didn't gain back the 94 pounds I have lost...I only gained 3. Which is a miracle the way I have been eating..I don't think I have been eating a lot. Actually I have been barely eating. But when your one meal you decide to eat is a cheeseburger and fries, or a slice of pizza and half a dozen boneless hot wings...then do nothing but snuggle with your baby all gain weight.

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I'm glad it only took two weeks and three pounds to wake me up again this time. In the past it has taken a month or so and atleast ten pounds. I'm getting better at recognizing when I slip into my old ways. Why is it so easy to go back? And what does feeling like a busted can of bisquits just want you to make more bad food decisions?

Addy has been a force to be reckoned with the last couple weeks, my sister was in the ICU last week, and Dad's work schedule has been wacky. No one has been home to eat dinner, so I haven't been cooking. I've been on auto pilot, and all the sudden I realize it's 6:30 and we haven't had dinner yet, so I run out and grab something. Life happens. We have set backs. It's how you recover from them that matters.

Addy's bed time has been a struggle. Her routine is messed up with all the confusion, so she's all like "bed, whats that? I want to partayyyyyy!" It has taken two hours fifteen thousand pinky promises, and I think I now sing you are my sunshine to myself to fall asleep since I've sang it so many times to her. My usual 7:30 work out time has completely disappeared, and by the time I get done fighting with her to get to sleep at 9:30 I want to collapse.

Last night at 8:15 I decided that she was going to cry wether I was there next to her crib or not, and I went down and exercised. I spent my 40 minutes doing Body Pump...then today packed my stuff to do a pinterest work out here at work because when you work at a tanning salon there isn't a whole lot else to do. It took 30 minutes to do that, and I could feel the stress melting away.

Working out makes me a better mom, it makes me less stressed, less likely to attack anyone and everyone with my quick tongue, it helps me not cry over jelly {yes I literally ugly cried making a pb&j this week} and it makes me feel good about myself. Eating right makes me feel healthy, and happy. Pizza and Wine do too, but only for so long...then I wake up the next morning bloated and hating myself. I don't want to feel that way anymore...this week I need reminders to take care of myself girls. When Mommy is happy, everyone is happy...and Mommy isn't happy.

My Pinterest circut work out for today:
50 jumping jacks
40 plie squats
30 blurpees
20 push ups
10 bicycle crunches
40 side lunges
20 bent over rows
20 bicep curls
15 tricep dips

reapeat x3. I did all of theses {besides the jumping jacks and blurpees} with a 15lb resistance band, easier to drag to work then dumbells!

Tonight I will do my body pump again, and watch teen mom 2 from the bike. Bahh.


  1. yay for teen mom 2...and for boneless wings. I love those dang things! cheers to a brand new week!!

  2. I found your blog somewhere...
    I can tell from your words that you're stronger than you think. My heart goes out to you to continue your journey, the one you are meant to live.

  3. Kick this week's butt girl and forget about the past 2 weeks! you can do it! exercise is incredible and it WILL make you have more energy :) keep it up! you know i love a good body pump session :)

  4. Glad to hear you're getting back at it. Its amazing how exercise makes the stress more manageable. Letting them cry it out is hard, but probably for the best for both of you. I'm gonna have to start doing it with my 3 year old and I'm not looking forward to that! She's bigger and can open doors and all that good stuff.

    Hope you have a great day!

  5. I'm just going to copy this post so I can repost It next time I feel this way. Seriously, I feel exactlyl like this sometimes. We all do! My daughter is having bedtime issues too (she's 2 1/2) and I know it makes you want to punch a freaking wall! Hang in there lady..and good for you for getting back on track! You will feel better in no time!!

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  7. i have had shitmypants probs too from my weekend omg i feel you! one day at a time lady :)

  8. Hey girly! I think you're in your early twenties? As am I. Anyways I've been reading the top 10 books every girl should read in her twenties list and I just finished single: the art of being satisfied, fufilled and independent by Judy Ford and it was so good I think you should read it!

    It's not a novel its like a real life quick easy read. Anyways it's message is so good about becoming happy with yourself etc. hope this helps! Keep your chin up!

  9. Sorry you've been in a funk but the good news is, as you said, it only took you a little while to realize and to snap out of it. Now you can move forward and make better got this girl! We all support you<3

  10. don't be too hard on yourself, I think one of the single most hurtful things we all do to hinder our weightloss is be too hard on ourselves.....but I haven't yet figured out how to stop doing that, so if you do, please post it!

    I think instead you should be super proud of the fact that you work out at night! That's a hard thing to do, after a long hard day and after struggling with bedtime for the wee one....I couldn't do it!