Health is the groundwork to hapiness...

I've got to be honest, with all of you and myself. I have been a bad bad girl the last two weeks. I have been in a funk as if you couldn't tell by my depressing posts. Being a single mom is just something I'm really struggling with right now. But putting my health on the back burner these last two weeks like I have isn't doing me any favors. I've been too depressed to move too far from my bed. I have litterally shit my pants because I chose to eat unhealthy things and my body wasn't happy with me at all.


And I don't care if it makes me poop myself either
SO now I have to cleanse. And start over. Honestly this has to stop happening. I always have a good few months, then I completely fall apart. I didn't gain back the 94 pounds I have lost...I only gained 3. Which is a miracle the way I have been eating..I don't think I have been eating a lot. Actually I have been barely eating. But when your one meal you decide to eat is a cheeseburger and fries, or a slice of pizza and half a dozen boneless hot wings...then do nothing but snuggle with your baby all day...you gain weight.


I'm glad it only took two weeks and three pounds to wake me up again this time. In the past it has taken a month or so and atleast ten pounds. I'm getting better at recognizing when I slip into my old ways. Why is it so easy to go back? And what does feeling like a busted can of bisquits just want you to make more bad food decisions?

Addy has been a force to be reckoned with the last couple weeks, my sister was in the ICU last week, and Dad's work schedule has been wacky. No one has been home to eat dinner, so I haven't been cooking. I've been on auto pilot, and all the sudden I realize it's 6:30 and we haven't had dinner yet, so I run out and grab something. Life happens. We have set backs. It's how you recover from them that matters.

Addy's bed time has been a struggle. Her routine is messed up with all the confusion, so she's all like "bed, whats that? I want to partayyyyyy!" It has taken two hours fifteen thousand pinky promises, and I think I now sing you are my sunshine to myself to fall asleep since I've sang it so many times to her. My usual 7:30 work out time has completely disappeared, and by the time I get done fighting with her to get to sleep at 9:30 I want to collapse.

Last night at 8:15 I decided that she was going to cry wether I was there next to her crib or not, and I went down and exercised. I spent my 40 minutes doing Body Pump...then today packed my stuff to do a pinterest work out here at work because when you work at a tanning salon there isn't a whole lot else to do. It took 30 minutes to do that, and I could feel the stress melting away.

Working out makes me a better mom, it makes me less stressed, less likely to attack anyone and everyone with my quick tongue, it helps me not cry over jelly {yes I literally ugly cried making a pb&j this week} and it makes me feel good about myself. Eating right makes me feel healthy, and happy. Pizza and Wine do too, but only for so long...then I wake up the next morning bloated and hating myself. I don't want to feel that way anymore...this week I need reminders to take care of myself girls. When Mommy is happy, everyone is happy...and Mommy isn't happy.

My Pinterest circut work out for today:
50 jumping jacks
40 plie squats
30 blurpees
20 push ups
10 bicycle crunches
40 side lunges
20 bent over rows
20 bicep curls
15 tricep dips

reapeat x3. I did all of theses {besides the jumping jacks and blurpees} with a 15lb resistance band, easier to drag to work then dumbells!

Tonight I will do my body pump again, and watch teen mom 2 from the bike. Bahh.