Any one else having blogger/photo bucket photo upload issues today? This girl is. So this is going to be a text only post...lame I know.
Welcome to weigh in Wednesday {WIW}, Erin & I love that you all come back every week. Every week we see a few new faces and we just love to read everyones stories.
This week fit and tight Alex vacated my body, and Big Al moved rite on in. Between last week when I weighed in Wednesday morning at 194 {still 3 pounds up from my lowest weight earlier this month}...By Saturday morning I weighed 201 7 pounds in three days.Whatthehell. Well, alcohol for one. I retain water like a freaking blowfish. And my salty, carb ladden food choices weren't the best either. Today I weighed in at 194 again, thank the lord. But really, I'm so tired of gaining and loosing the same 5 pounds.
As you know if you've been reading for a while, I'm going through a divorce. The end of a seven year relationship with an abusive cheating little turd of a man. And it's tearing me apart. I was doing great while I was ignoring what was going on...but now that I see PJ on the reg, and she makes me actually deal with whats going on. I. AM. DRAINED. I find myself filling the bowl with rigatoni and butter with cheese
I still eat my protein shake for breakfast, have a think thin bar forlunch, fruit and unsalted cashews for snacks...but at night I'm having trouble controlling myself. Maybe because the hangry kicks in, and it's all over from there. I don't know.
I'm really focusing on the things that have changed since my weight loss... because as you all know by now, to me it's not the number that matters, it's the way YOU feel.
-I feel comfortabe with my body
-I have found my style again beyond yoga pants and Adam's t-shirts
-I love shopping and getting new clothes, it's pretty freaking awesome to go in the store and grab and size 11/12 off the rack and know I can just buy it because it will fit.
-I know how many calories are in things
-I can run. I can run next to the four wheeler as Dad pulls Addy in a tube, and keep up. I could never have done that 12 months and 90 pounds ago. neva eva eva
-I feel confident, I feel like I look good. I probably will never be the smallest girl in the room, but I feel like I look good.
-Food isn't the first thing on my mind all the damn time I think about the people I'm going to spend time with, not the food we are going to consume
-Most importantly I feel healthy and beautiful, I don't hate myself anymore
I have 25-40 pounds left to go till my ultimate goal. I'm still not sure what I will weigh when I finally feel healthy enough that weight loss is no longer the main focus, and instead I turn to weight maintence...
You are doing great. Sometimes life can really affect your diet. I am an emotionally eater too, especially when I'm stressed. It's been hard but I'm learning to say no when I know that its a bad choice for me. You look great and should feel wonderful about your progress. PS I love your positivity!
ReplyDeleteI'm a new reader. I love what I am reading so far! You've done so well! That is awesome. You are an inspiration. Your oreos and chips are not a huge deal. You caught it, and you stopped yourself! The evening is always the hard part for me as well. I think everything is worse at night. You're probably thinking more at night, because you actually have a chance to relax....and then up come those emotions. I'm a huge emotionally eater, and it's been a struggle to teach myself to get around that!! Keep up the good work! You motivate me for sure!!
ReplyDeleteI can't even imagine what you are going thru & would probably be grabbing the food to for comfort....except it never does provide the comfort we want! You will get to the point where you will break this habit!! I do LOVE your list of the good changes - so inspiring! Keep up the amazing job! You will get there!
ReplyDeleteAlex you are doing great considering everything! You and Erin are an inspiration!
ReplyDeleteUgh I feel ya girl its so frustrating! & I dont have the yuckyness going on in my life or a child to take care of, so no excuse for me!
ReplyDeleteLOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI know I've already told you this, but honestly just getting through your day is a major victory in itself right now! I hope you know that you're doing amazing, no matter what that scale says. If you can't devote 100% of your energy to this weight loss thing right now then so be it. You need all your energy to get through each day right and that's ok! xoxo
ReplyDeleteI think all those things you have accomplished are much more important than the number on the scale! You will get to your goal because you are such a strong person. Just like running, some people can cover more "distance" over a shorter time and others take longer. Either one as fine as long as you put in the effort to go the distance!
ReplyDeleteI had a fatty week too. Here's to a new one!
ReplyDeleteUggghh night time snacking. It's so hard to avoid because that's when you "let your hair down". I have no suggestions--struggling with this myself. But you put a stop to it last night and that is awesome. And maybe you can talk to PJ about it and get some suggestions? Good luck, girl!
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty bad about night time snacking, but considering what you're going through and still losing/maintaining weight - you're a rockstar!
ReplyDeleteOne thing that popped in my head that might help with food - do you have time to have something for lunch other than a think thin bar? I know if I don't feel like I've eaten enough quantity-wise (not calorie-wise) during the day, I want to snack at night. Maybe having something a little more filling might help. Just a thought :)
(From In Bloom) Hey I tried to respond to your comment-- but it must've not been linked--it went to a noreply account. Anyway--Yeah girl I live in Cabot! I grew up in Stuttgart but moved in with my hubs there after we got married.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I agree with Daneille^^--I gotta feel like I've eaten SOMETHING for lunch other than a bar for me to not eat everything in sight in the evening. Trying switching that up!!
I take all the things you have accomplished to a weight loss or gain anyday. It is amazing what you can do and feel when things are great!! You can do this girl!
ReplyDeleteI totally have those days..or "periods" in my life. It's like.. I went 2 weeks without sugar, I was feeling good..then I got stressed, some bad stuff happened and all of a sudden I was eating big bags of chips, fatty dips and whatever I could get my sausage fingers on! I am such an emotional eater, and like you, I can start out the date fine but at night I struggle!
ReplyDeleteI know two things though 1.)We have both lost weight so we know we can do this. 2) WE WILL do this.
Divorce wreaks havoc on the body, but you are doing great! It is quite the achievement when you stop thinking about food. I'm not quite there yet, but I have found I can focus on other things! I hope you get below your lowest so you can continue the journey after those five pounds.
ReplyDeleteFor me, I eat when I have nothing to do with my hands. My time is in the afternoon at work, if I'm not insanely busy. I get bored and start eating. My nutritionist had me keep a post it pad by me in the afternoon. FOr a couple of weeks, when I gave into my craving/snack/binge, I had to write down 5 words about what I was feeling, 5 about what I was doing and 5 about what I was eating along with the time. After a couple of weeks I could see the pattern. It REALLY helped me figure out why I was eating. So now that I know, I keep my hands busy or I drink 8 ounces of water and refill my bottle on another floor of my building or I take a break and talk to a coworker.
ReplyDeleteI have been getting a lot of motivation through my fitness pal. I've made a few friends that will call me out if they see I haven't logged my food in a day or so, and that really helps. Keep focusing on the positives right now. I still think you are doing great because even though you have gone through hell and back recently you are focusing on getting healthier. Yea, those Oreo days happen. I had a Doritos night the other day and yes, I regret it but I'm gonna pick myself up and love me a salad for lunch today :) You can do this. You are already doing an awesome job. Before you know it those 5 lbs will be gone and you will move on to the next lbs you want to say goodbye too. You have lots of fans in your corner too :)
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