Need.Want.Wear.Read...O P R A H

So this year since we are all old & no longer want one of everything from the isles of Toys R' Us...or do we?? Mom asked us all to make a christmas list with four things on it. Something we need, something we want, something we can wear, and something to read. {clearly this doesn't apply to Addy Bear, the child is getting everything, I mean e v e r y t h i n g...I can't let Adam get her better Christmas swagg then I do. Like that's gonna happen anyways} SOO today I am going to share my list with you, and also a few of my favorite things. Oprah will even be making a guest appearance biotchessss!
Wear

So I need a coat, yes I have about 15 coats, BUT I am a moron and left them all in Arkansas in a tote in the attic. And The King won't send them...because he is a big douche, like big enough to clean yo' mamma's vagina such a peach. SO a coat is a MUST this season. I picked this adorable gray one from Express. It is now onsale with a $30 off coupon for $108 {you're welcome Mom}It's Belted. It's gray. It's cute. It covers my bootylicious bottom half, and sinches at my tiny waist ha I wish! It makes my waist look smaller.
it's p e r f e c t. it is my wear

Need & Want

I want a new bag, I am a coach addict, BUT I am over the c's all over everything...tacky, and maybe a little too much jersey shore. BUT I like the quality of the bags. This season I'm asking Mom Santa for the Ashley Patent Carryall in Raisin. She's a beaut. What I need is a wallet, I also have a coach wallet, BUT I have had the same one since high school, it's time to retire it. So I would like the Ashley large wristlet in silver...Now for the record, I am not a spoiled brat all the time we buy that shit at the outlet, with multiple coupons, and I'd be willing to bet I don't pay MUCH more for my coach then you would for a real leather bag at any other store!

Read

I L O V E me some Weiner...Jennifer Weiner that is. She is absolutely hilarious, she is famous for her books "Good in Bed" "Certain Girls" and "In Her Shoes" which was made into a movie. These two books are her new 2012 releases, and I cannot wait to curl up and read them, preferably before classes start late January!


My Favorite Things
Unlike O who picks a thousand million b-A-zillion things that no one could ever afford, and I'm pretty sure she does not use every day {ie the $6,000 elliptical she gave away this year. Paying someone to come and USE the elliptical at your house is not infact the same things as actually using it homegirl} these are a few of the things that I actually use every day...and a couple things that I am IN LOVE WITH.

First up is Loreal BB cream. This shizz is the BOMB{.com} I literally glow like a freaking angel when I wear it...It evens everything out, and really makes my excessive use of countouring completely invisible. S C O R E. It's about $8 at target.

Next is tarte cheek stain. LOVE it. L O V E. It's $30 at sephora, but lasts forevaaaa. It gives you that pretty glow, like you have when you're pregnant, only with out the cankles and stretch marks. Awesome rite?

This hair mask is ridiculious, as in it makes you feel like you have the hair from the pantiene pro-v comercials. It makes my hair so shiny and soft. I get mine at walmart or target for like $6. It's AMAZEBALLS.

Another Organix product. I like the awapui one that goes with the mask better...BUT it makes my weave greasy and dull from the keratin in it. The shampoo and conditioner are also around $6 each, and literally the BEST product I have ever used in a reasonable price range. I am a hair product w h o r e {der hoarder.} We had a floor to ceiling cabinet that was taller then me and a seven foot long vanity...all the cabinets were full with bottles of my shampoo, conditioner, and other products I got bored of. Adam concequentially also got those as part of the divorce..hmm hopefully slutbag enjoys my addiction. {skank} Okay sorry back to the product. I love organix as a brand, their heat treat serums are also awesome, styling balms wonderful...I love them!

Ahhh my blenderbottle. Hands down the best $7 I have ever spent. I drink a protein shake/iced coffee drink most mornings for my breakfast. This thing is wonderful, everything fits in the bottle, my protein powder, my black cofee, my dash of vanilla almond milk, and my ice...I put the lid on and shake shake shake, shake shake shake {shake my bootyyyy} it comes out perfect. No lumps, and it's easy to travel with.

Monnogramed Iphone case from personalized from me to you. Of course Mama has one and loves it...I can't stand the thought of waiting 3 weeks for the damn thing {instant gratification people} but I will be ordering mine next week. I cannot wait. There are SO many customizable options, I can't make up my mind. They run around $69, but if it saves your iphone, who cares. And I LOVE my current otterbox, I just hate that everyone has the same colors!

*Sigh* Frye boots. Hey gurl Heyyyyyy. I have wanted them for years, Y E A R S. This year my ass is finally small enough that I can tuck my jeans into boots and not look like Chris Cringle himslef. However I have 28 14 1/2 inch muscular calves, and most boots have a 13-15 inch circumferance. Not gonna work. These beauts have a 16 1/2 inch circumference...and they are gorge. So I am stockpiling all my Christmas money to buy the $350 boots. GAGGG. But they're good quality, I'll have them forever {that's what I need to keep telling myself}...

{that shit is supposed to move, and it is HILARIOUS, but I'm still blog illiterate and I have no idea how to make it work, even after reading a bagillion tutorials}
You're getting a car, and you and you and you and you and YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!


I W I S H...

This little candy apple is the beautiful Volvo S60. I absolutely love everything about it, and as long as I get this big girl job {which I am VERY confident I did} I will be purchasing myself one. I left Adam the car...I know I know, they call me Alex-Sweetheart I'm the sweetest bitch you'll ever meet {shameless Jersey Shore refernece} I should have taken that shit, at the very least I should have gone all Carrie Underwood on it so he could be paying $500 a month for a busted up car that screamed "I cheated on my wife, she's a badbitch, shortyyyy a Bitch bad, woman good
Lady better, they misunderstood, shorty she's a bad bitch" BUT I didn't. And I'm glad.The other reason I love it is because I am a twihard AND there are wolves on the commercial, I mean one of them could've been Taylor Lautner {DROOL}...so obvies, I need this car.



big>Okay Elves, bring everyone out their stufffffffff now. You are allllll taking one of everything home with you.... if you buy it sista

fly fly away

I have been busy with my sick little bear, and am oh so sorry I have neglected you bitoches.
Last night I stayed up super late, and so far this morning I have spent my time with my nose burried in my phone reading my home girl Lindsey's aka Nancy Clue {if you don't read her blog, DO IT, you're guranteed to laugh your butt off}...She sent me an email with her old blog entries, and basically the shit storm that was her divorce. I've been reading and I can't stop, I love it, it makes me laugh...
It scares the shit out of me how different the rise and inevitable fall of both of our marriages were so different, yet exactly the same in so many ways...
More about that in a bit.

First on Today's Agenda Operation MILFdom
I weighed today...
195
I lost another 6 pounds...
That means I have lost the 11 pounds I gained since I moved back home
AND an additional 3 more pounds.

I love that picture.
I know you've seen it a million times, but when you really see what 15 pounds of fat looks like, its a good motivator to not put it back on.
Now I can only imagaine what the 75 pounds of fat I have lost would look like sitting outside my body...
Probably like when Oprah went on that liquid diet and wheeled her fat out in a wagon...
Yes a freaking wagon people, AND that was only 65 pounds I believe!
15 pounds in 2 weeks.
It took me 6 weeks to put it on, two to get rid of it.
That shit never happens.
A to the M. E. N.
I'd love to tell you I worked hard for that weigh loss...
But truth is I just did the old anorexia stop putting shit in my mouth trick.
It works.
The constant feeling of sickness and stress induced IBS that comes from going through a divorce to a flipping sociopath doesn't hurt the cause either.
My skinny jeans that gave me muffin top 2 weeks ago now are approaching the dreaded "Baggy Butt" stage after being on for only an hour.
Again. A to the M. E. N
{I really want to wear leather leggings to celebrate Mandy Pants 23rd birfdayyy at the end of January, I'm gonna get there}
This week now that all is normal, and it's already half over. ha.
I need to get back on the body pump wagon after two weeks off bc of an upper respitory/fluish super bug that hit our house!
Stay tuned, next week will be just as sucessful!
EVENTHOUGH tomorrow night the Divas and I are going on a date and I can already taste my italian margarita.
nomm nomm nomm.


Okay, Now those of you who haven't ever been divorced.
Don't do it.
This shit is not fun.
This shit is not effing easy.
This shit is not in the least bit s.i.m.p.l.e
It's kind of like trying to get out of a petting zoo with pockets stuffed with twenty-five cent food pellets...
It's impossible to do quickly, with out getting your hands dirty, and leaving with out your shoes completely covered in shit.
Basically what I'm trying to say is it's hard. Fucking hard.
No I would not rather stay married to an abusive, lying, cheating sociopath.
BUT some days I think it would have been easier then divorcing him.

Now, I was the one who got the lawyer here in New York
PAID the freaking $2,700 to have the agreement drafted. redrafted. redrafted again. and redrafted again because The King wasn't happy with it.
I absolutely love to call him that..."The King" it happens to be our last name.
And I think Adam got confused that when you are given a last name it isn't necessairly a title...
If it were his last name would be Muthafucka...
Consequentialy that would mean mine would be too, and Addy's...
There is no such thing as an angelic enough first name to make Muthafucka sound cute.
The point is...he thinks his shit doesn't stink.
And apparently he also thinks that he is above the law.
Now I do not care if your flipping butt buddies with Govenor Cuomo {which clearly Adam is not}
New York State Law still applies to you.
Adam has spent the last month kicking and screaming about the fact that he has to endure another 9 months married to me.
Which I don't get...the paper that confirmed our marriage didn't mean a damned thing to him, so why is the piece of paper nullifying our sacred union so important.
He says he just wants to be free...
Well your free little birdy...fly fly away.
And into the windsheild of a fast moving tractor trailer. puhleaseeee

I was watching teen mom 2 Tuesday nigh {don't even try and play like you don't love that shit, okay maybe everyone doesn't but I have watched that train wreck since day one, and I even enjoy a re-run marathon from time to time. I.CAN'T.GET.ENOUGH}
I used to like it because in a twisted way it made me feel better about myself.
I wasn't a single teen mother, my hair wasn't bleached to the point I was often confused with the scare crow from wizard of oz, AND my boyfriend's name wasn't Keefahhhh.
BUT now I watch it, and I sympathize with those bitties
This week particularly when Kaylin and Joe are going to mediation...
If you didn't watch it I'll set up the scene for you.
Basically Kaylin wants Isacc every other weekend, instead of Joe having him every weekend because instead of actually spending time with the child he goes out with his chicken head girlfriend, drinks underage, and posts pictures on the facebooks.
dumb.dumb.dumb
Anyways, so there Kaylin sits with her little lawyer lady, and in walks Joe.
Mr.Swagg...or so he thinks, with his bitch cofee drink with whipped cream on top, strutting his shit, lookin' like a fool
And I immediately burst into tears and said out loud to myself
"This is my freaking life"
And proceeded to cry.
Then I looked at my phone...

New message from The King:
"how are you?
what are you doing?
?
you there?"

Me:
"I'm here, why are you asking me that. We aren't friends, we aren't anything, don't talk to me unless it relates to my daughter."

The King:
"Well I went and saw a lawyer today, I need to call you"

So okayyyy I agree, he calls, he talks out his ass and I listen. He says the lawyer said he can still file in NY first if he wants to, yadda yadda yadda. I tell him go ahead, it costs another $2,500 and I do not care, he already has the house the car, and everything else. He has taken every material posession I have ever had, he can't take anything else, because no one in their right mind would give that psyco Adaline I won't let him get MY baby. And hung up.

He calls back...

Me: What?
Him: "I'm sorry babe, I just want to get this over, I want you to be able to move on with your life and I don't think you can do that while we are still married. How do you want this to work, what can I do to make this easier for you. I want you to be happy"
Me: I CALL BULLSHIT!!!
"Well NYS law says we have to wait 12 months dipshit, AND I am moving on with my life. What will make me happy is for you to leave me and Addy the hell alone, pay your child support on time with out a fight, and I will see you in court in August."
Him: Insert pitty party here "I'll be deployed in August, Babe." {and yes the fuckface still calls me babe}
Me: "Okay, then I'll see you in court in September." Hangs up phone.

The point of sharing that conversation is to display the INSANITY that fills that idiots head...and in turn my life. One day I am a C*^% the next day I'm babe. Adam is a self serving, egotistical, manipulative sonofabitch. AND I am in shambles trying to figure out how I never saw it before. I feel like an emotional basket case, a husk of the person I used to be...because of him. Because he fucked me up so bad, and still attempts to dig his tallons into me. And if you ask me the shithead was probably taping that conversation in hopes to make himself sound like the compliant one, while I sounded like the bitter crazy ex-wife. AND maybe I am, but he is NOTHING even close to compliant. He SUCKS!

Onward and Upwards

Today I have a big interview, I'll blog about that tomorrow, and I have an amazeballs outfit, and killer hair. Now I'm no fashion blogger, but this shit is cute. Maybe I will rope Mom into taking a picture before I leave the house. {not after bc I'm sure it will end with my crying alone in the car, bc I cannot believe the way my life has changed so much in such a short time} 120 days ago I was changing diapers and scrubbing toilites, living in the beautiful denial of marital bliss & motherhood. Now I am a single mother. A sinlge working mother. A single working mother trying to go to school. Holy.Hell.

Now I will leave you with a little piece of advice I borrowed from Miss Nancy...

"I cannot control what other people do, I can only control my reaction to what they do"

Later Gaters XoxoX

Friday is My Second Favorite F Word...

This week has been interesting, and I am beyond relieved Friday has come.
I have been sicker then a dog all week, I finally have enough sudafedrine in my body to make a methhead jealous
I'm beginning to feel pretty good...{score}
I plan to spend tonight with the Divas && Momma needs a freakin' drannnkkk
Afterall there is so much to celebrate.
I can honestly say for the first time in a long time I am proud to say...
"I am not with stupid cheating, no good, lying, psyco anymore"

Yes tonight, and every day from here forward I will be doing that dance.
And secretly imagining wearing that shirt...
Every freaking day for the rest of my life.
I know I should have realized the day I caught Adam The Devil cheating on my I should have been doing that dance.
But the truth is {and I'm not proud to say it} I wasn't.
No matter how big of a psycopath he may be, he's still my Adam, the guy I fell in love with is still in there some where...
WAKE UP CALL SISTA He's not in there anymore, he's gone & you should be bowing down and kissing the ground thanking Lucifer that Adam fell victim to his un-godly desires, and fucked fell in love with another woman.
Because that sets you free...
You don't have to be the bad guy for leaving simply because he was insane.
Or you didn't love him anymore.
Or you couldn't take one more fight.
Or you couldn't be blamed for one more thing.
Or you couldn't tolerate one more deployment.
Or you couldn't bear the thought of untangling his underwear from the covers..
just one.more.time
Or because you hated him. You grew to hate him..
&& you let yourself feel guilty for that.
You don't have to feel any guilt for your decision.
Afterall YOU did what any woman with half a brain would do.
You packed your crap, picked up your princess, and RAN as fast as you could away from that shitshow.


Now I have been talking to Adam most every day since the day I left. I just wanted my family back, I couldn't believe he was really willing to leave US {Addy and I}. And I'm not proud to admit it but I begged him to let us come home once, twice, about a hundred times.
Apparently the text messages he continued to send "his sandia" yes, he really had a nick name for the dirty skank, it means watermellon in spanish, also is the name of a mountain range in New Mexico...that they hiked while on thier little romantic trip together..
didn't convince me he was not worth it.
Apparently him returning red box movies just to use McDonald's wifi to talk to her {and leaving the redbox movie he was "returning" on the kitchen table}
didn't convince me he was not worth it.
Apparently the first time he hit me when I was pregnant with Addy
didn't convince me he wasn't worth it.
Apparently the fact that he never felt our child kick in my stomach
didn't convince me he wasn't worth it.
Apparently the fact that he never ever ever got up at night to change a diaper so I could rest and heal
didn't convince me he wasn't worth it.
Apparently the fact that nomatter what I did right, he would always be the first to point out that one thing I did wrong
didn't convince me he wasn't worth it.
Apparently the constant control and verbal abuse
didn't convince me he wasn't worth it.
Apparently the divorce party he and his friends threw the weekend I left {complete with "Fuck Bitches Get Money T-Shirts, nasty girls from Bdubs recruited simply for the fact that they were a sure thing, a divorce cake, and a blow job chart}
didn't convince me he wasn't worth it.


BUT this week I didn't talk to him one bit, finally!
And I feel stronger then ever, and confident in my decision.
Finally I realize he wasn't worth it...ever.
But with out his sperm I wouldn't have the most beautiful thing I have ever had in my entire life...
My Addy.
MINE. Not HIS. MINE.
And she always will be.
Because his stupid ass doesn't want her.
Because his selfish ass traded my giving up spousal support in favor of full custody with no visitation rights with out even as much as a blink of his pretty long eyelashes.


And last night when he texted me to ask when I planned on filing the divorce papers...
And I happened to leave out the fact that I couldn't legally file for a year...
I asked him why it mattered...did he plan on marrying that homewrecking whore, or moving her into my house {maybe she could use Addy's crib for their filthy child to sleep in}...
He said no {I don't believe him}
And he also said he planned on filing for divorce in Arkansas
Now the little shit doesn't have the money to pay his full child support amount
BUT he has the money to file for divorce {he's a winner I know}
Not to mention it's a complete waste of money because we are already legally seperated in the beautiful state of new york...
Where there is no sympathy for men who walk away from their families...
And decide not to pay child support.
I realized after he bagered me for at least 45 minutes...
That he is infact the dumbest person I have ever laid eyes on.
That he is a LOOSER
That he is a LIAR
That he doesn't care about Me or Addy, he only cares about himself
That he is a control freak who couldn't stand 5 days of me ignoring him
That he tries to control, threaten, and bully me {on a regular basis} and I never even realized it


Life will go on.
Adam will one day just be the man who fathered my child.
Nothing more.
He will be in our past, and no longer in our lives.
And I cannot wait for that day to come.
Only 9 months...and counting...
Tonight I'm celebrating, I'm happy to be single {if it means not having to deal with that psyco one more day of my life}, I'm happy I have such amazing friends & family, I'm happy I have such a beautiful, smart, funny child, I am happy I was strong enough to leave, I am HAPPY to be starting over. I have so much to celebrate, and so much to be thankful for. And today I can honestly say I finally see my marriage to that horrible man for what it was, and see him for who he really is. The veil has been lifted, and I am ready to enjoy my life...WITH OUT HIM.

Must Love Dogs....and Children

Just coming out of an awful, no good, very very bad marriage The Divas and I thought it might be a good idea to make a list of criteria a future husband must meet. Eventually I will date, just not until our divorce is finalized, because unlike adam The Devil I don't think it's appropriate to date while you are still legally married. Especially while you're still sleeping in bed next to your wife every night and not mentioning to her you are also getting it in with some other dirty nasty soulless woman. Being back in this small town again, I think I'm going to have to resort to the world of online dating. I just don't have the time or patients to weed out the losers, I'd prefer for the experts at match to do that for me.

1. No Children...yes it may be a little hypocritical, since I have a child. BUT there are days I can barely mother my own flesh and blood, I could never something that I didn't carry in and birth from my own loins. Plus I have enough babymamadrama of my own, I don't want any one else's.

2. Must Love Dogs...and people. Adam was a miserable self-serving human being, and hated anything or anyone that didn't have anything to offer him. So Prince Charming...he's gotta love dogs. Is there anything cuter then a man with his pup riding shot gun, I don't think so.

3. No Ugly Feet or Dad Jeans...I hate socks...expecially in bed. If your feet are so ugly I cringe when they graze mine in bed...that is a problem. And as for the "dad jeans" Mandy Pants was set up on a blind date with a guy we like to refer to as "dad jeans" yes, he really wore tapered leg, high waisted jeans...to go with his white new balance sneakers. That IS a deal breaker.

4. Nice Mother...My last MIL could be compared to "The Dragon Lady" in the movie Monster In-Law...not going down that road again.

5. Should be able to remember the first name of every woman they have been with...the less chances of them having and STD or illegitimate child they have never met, the better.

6. Must like naps...this girl loves a good nap, and naps are always so much better if you have someone who likes to hold you while you sleep.

7. Likes to Get His Hands Dirtayyy...there is just something about callouses, and muscles from hard work that really get my juices flowing. Bonus points if he knows what to do under the hood of a car...preferably shirtless and covered in grease.

8. Foreplay & Fifty Shades...Now my FH is going to need to have an idea of foreplay that consists of more then his morning wood being poked into my backside. There is nothing alluring about that at all and all you men need to stop doing it. Read Fifty, read it again {and again and again} memorize it and get familiarized with Christian Grey style "kinky-fuckery" After all the key to a woman's heart is a romantic man who can also pull her hair and smack her bootayyy.

9. Must Do Laundry...I loved every minute of being a housewife...besides the laundry. I hate laundry, and you get super bonus points if you like to fold {and wash and iron AND put away} the family laundry.

10. Must Love Kids & Believe in God....On our last day together when I realized Adam was not going to ever give me what I wanted...he told me "he didn't want anymore kids ever, and he didn't believe in God." Now there is nothing I like more then being pregnant, and jesus is my savior, so my man has gotta know all the words to "Grace Like Rain" or at least be willing to learn them.

11. Must Be Independently Successful...being married to a military man, I have made enough sacrifices for a lifetime in just 4 short years. I would like to actually get to see my FH more then a few times a month, and I would like to not have to move away from my family again. Never ever again. Also I would like to focus on my career, and making babies, I'd like for war to not get in the way of that.

12. Must NOT Cheat...{or hit, or yell} seems like a no-brainer I know, but I can attest to the fact first hand that there are some men boys that don't know that none of those things are appropriate.

I'm sure by the time everything is finalized, the papers are signed, and the glorious day comes that I am awarded full custody of Addy Bear, I will have other things added to the list. For example, must have a vehicle, must not live in his mother's basement, must be devilishly handsome {not to be confused with being the actual devil}, and obviously he must love my little Addy!!!!

Celebrity Sightings Link Up...

Now I am never one to skip a linkup, {especially if Holly or Lora are involved} but I really couldn't think of a time I ever met a celebrity...then it dawned on me I was married to one...

I was married to AdamDerek Jeter
Cute rite?
Also the pompous asshat the tabloids make him out to be...
We were together for a cumulative 7 years {3 years of dating 4 years of marriage}
And made one beautiful little bear cub together
Whenever we went out people would always see our NY plates and his Yankees hat..
And they would ask him if he was Derek Jeter... {I mean obvies he is}
We would just laugh at them...
And then they would go back to calling the hogs like nothing ever happened
{woo pig souiee}
One time at Cracker Barell one lady was so excited to see a "celebrity" she came up to our table and talked to us
And insisted on buying our dinner.
Freaking weird but I'm not one to pass up free food {or any food at all for that matter}
Now he could really swing that bat ;)
BUT he also liked to slap a ho from time to time.
One didn't really make up for the other.
This past August I caught Derek cheating on me... {I know how dare he?}
SO I left his sorry butt
All the money in the world & magazine cover photo-ops couldn't make me stay
I took our baby & headed back home to the beautiful state of New York
My people are currently in contact with In-Touch Weekly...
But I keep telling them, I am keeping my story exclusive for my special place here on the inter webs <3

Weigh in Wednesday...waaattt? && Link Ups

Hey Girl, Hey....
I woke up this morning, and I'm s i c k
Fever, can't get warm, then I'm sweating with chills, sore throat, head ache
I can't remember the last time I was this sick
Maybe it's because I am home with my Mommy, so I can be sick. Rite?
When you're a stay at home mom with an idiot husband and living 1400 miles from all relatives, you just don't get the privlidge of being sick.

Anyways, The Divas & I spent yesterday working on some material for a silly blog post, but my head feels like it's going to explode at any second. So that's going to have to come later in the week. For today, I'm just going to do my usual wednesday link ups & promote a "Pay it Forward" holiday campaign some of my favorite bloggers are hosting.

Oh yah duhhh! I almost forgot Weigh in Wednesday, clearly not happening...
I feel like death, & I didn't feel like stripping down to my undies to weigh today.
So next week I will...ehhh I promise.


______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
From Holly @ Where We Can Live Like Jack and Sally



Mama Laughlin asked Aly and I to help her with a Holiday Pay it Forward campaign. We want to get this little blogger village together to help those in need during the holidays.

I know I complain a lot about the shoebox we live in... and my green shaggin' wagon... and how daycare wipes their ass with all of the money I pay... But the bottom line is that I have a pretty good life.

Right now, times are tough for a lot of people. I have seen bankruptcy and foreclosures first hand in my own family this year.

There are people without health insurance, without heat, without the ability to provide their children gifts during the holidays. People just like you and me... who you think might have it together, but are bursting at the seams...

If you or anyone you know is in need of something {anything!} this season, please send an email, with background story, to: MLHolidayPayItForward@yahoo.com

We want to read your stories... and post them on our blogs for our little blogger village to step in and help.

Please share this with anyone you know to spread the word...
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Now For My Wednesday Link-ups:
Feel free to join, just make sure to follow the rules :)
Followers to Friends: Linking up each and every Wednesday




Random Wednesday with Shanna @ Because Shanna Said So

Tuesday is My Monday

Today is "Tell Me About it Tuesday" and I am going to tell you about my weekend...exciting I know rite? But I promise it actually was interesting...
Tuesday is my Monday...
And boy it sure feels like it.
Did anyone else have trouble getting back into their routine this week?
I know when my alarm went off this morning I was NOT happy about it
I even laid in bed an extra 5 minutes trying to convince myself to get the eff up...


I have been lazy this holiday weekend, though Mandy Pants and I did do our sunday walk again. In the f r e e z i n g cold, but it was still nice to get out of the house. I put Addy in her snow suit, strapped her in the stroller, and off we went. Mandy and I thought it was hilarious Addy Girl looked like she wanted to kill someone, and literally wined for at least 40 minutes of our 1 hour walk, so I just parked the stroller on the side of the bike path and left her there till we were done oops! I mean I thought about doing that, the entire walk...meanwhile we tried to convince her we were going to build a snowman, because clearly she was wondering "Mom, what the freak other reason is there to be in a snowsuit?" well there is still no snow on the ground, so that didn't happen. SHH don't tell Ad that you need snow to build a snowman...Eventaully I think she figured out we were not telling her the truth, so we had to switch and bribe her with a playground. Which was both adorable and effing miserable ((for me)) I would like to think of it as Karma, as Addy went down the slide laughing and smiling, I do believe she was thinking "ha Mom, stand there and freeze, don't worry we will build a snowman when I'm done, so be a good girl." She is the best, and I love her, even if she was a devil this weekend. Decorating the tree we couldn't keep her off the ladder, she thought it was the funniest thing e v e r I love that now when she does something naughty she laughs at herself, and yells at me "No Mom I Not" when I ask her to stop. I told you all I was married to The Devil...so we will just say she gets it from her fathaaaa.










On Saturday our Breakfast with Santa, went well...you could say. Now, I am a control faaaareak like to have a plan. I always set myself up for failure, a l w a y s. I plan out how a scenario will go, usually I am taking a hit off the ole' crack pipe when I'm dreaming up these fantasy scripted moments, that we all know never go the way we plan ESPECAILLY with a toddler. Well, I thought my pretty pretty princess would be so excited, love her pretty dress, run rite into "Santy's" arms joyfully, and just all around have a good time. NONE OF THAT HAPPENED. She threw tantrums, because she was gonna do what she wanted to do, and if that meant scaling the Cristmas Tree covered in pink feathers and Disney Princesses, well that's what she was gonna do, and if she couldn'd do that she damn sure was going to yell at anyone and everyone that went near that tree. ((The event was held at "The Festival of Trees" an event put on every year, a bunch of people submit trees or wreaths with different themes, and they get auctioned off. All proceeds go to a school in our area for special needs children.)) I'm really not kidding, she stood by that flipping tree and yelled at the other kids "No girl! NO my princess" By the time we were there for 10 minutes, my head was spinning and I had green goo spewing from every orfice in my face I was wishing someone spiked the orange juice. I don't know who was the bigger brat in reality...Me or my child. At least she has an excuse...she's two...what's my excuse!?! I need to learn to let go, and take my anti-psychotics on time in order to avoid these type of circumstances.



I have been a raging bitch for months, and my family in the last couple weeks has clued me in on that. Not so gingerly, that's for sure, BUT I needed a nice punch in the face, more then once. No, they didn't really cause any bodily harm, but they basically told me to cut the crap, put on my big girl panties (not to be confused with fat pants) and MOVE ON. Stop being a bitch, and get MAD. Use my struggle to find some progress. I am so blessed to have my supportive family, my amazing sistafranns, and my sometimes always precious Adaline. It could be worse, like for example, I could be living alone away from family, in a home surrounded by pictures of my wife and child, that my loving dedicated wife decorated, waking up every morning next to a nasty skank that will never ever be able to give me any thing close to the life that I threw away. Sorry. Please excuse that last part, I have this new form of turrets, instead of swer words, I spew bitter evilness from my oral pore.

So from now on I vow not to:
Call, text, email, stalk, or make excuses for Adam.
Take my family for granted.
Share my babymammadramma with my friends...all the time
Look for something positive every time I have a negative thought
P R A Y to stay confident in God's timing & be patient
Look for the bigger picture
Look only forward and stop looking back


Now, for some MORE Pictures of the weekend, they are blurry as can be, and not that good, because SOME idiot cough ME cough forgot to put the memory card in the camera...it was the cherry on top of our Saturday morning.

I'll just give Santa an "air five" thankyouverymuch