Friday, December 7, 2012

Need.Want.Wear.Read...O P R A H

So this year since we are all old & no longer want one of everything from the isles of Toys R' Us...or do we?? Mom asked us all to make a christmas list with four things on it. Something we need, something we want, something we can wear, and something to read. {clearly this doesn't apply to Addy Bear, the child is getting everything, I mean e v e r y t h i n g...I can't let Adam get her better Christmas swagg then I do. Like that's gonna happen anyways} SOO today I am going to share my list with you, and also a few of my favorite things. Oprah will even be making a guest appearance biotchessss!


So I need a coat, yes I have about 15 coats, BUT I am a moron and left them all in Arkansas in a tote in the attic. And The King won't send them...because he is a big douche, like big enough to clean yo' mamma's vagina such a peach. SO a coat is a MUST this season. I picked this adorable gray one from Express. It is now onsale with a $30 off coupon for $108 {you're welcome Mom}It's Belted. It's gray. It's cute. It covers my bootylicious bottom half, and sinches at my tiny waist ha I wish! It makes my waist look smaller.
it's p e r f e c t. it is my wear

Need & Want

I want a new bag, I am a coach addict, BUT I am over the c's all over everything...tacky, and maybe a little too much jersey shore. BUT I like the quality of the bags. This season I'm asking Mom Santa for the Ashley Patent Carryall in Raisin. She's a beaut. What I need is a wallet, I also have a coach wallet, BUT I have had the same one since high school, it's time to retire it. So I would like the Ashley large wristlet in silver...Now for the record, I am not a spoiled brat all the time we buy that shit at the outlet, with multiple coupons, and I'd be willing to bet I don't pay MUCH more for my coach then you would for a real leather bag at any other store!


I L O V E me some Weiner...Jennifer Weiner that is. She is absolutely hilarious, she is famous for her books "Good in Bed" "Certain Girls" and "In Her Shoes" which was made into a movie. These two books are her new 2012 releases, and I cannot wait to curl up and read them, preferably before classes start late January!

My Favorite Things

Unlike O who picks a thousand million b-A-zillion things that no one could ever afford, and I'm pretty sure she does not use every day {ie the $6,000 elliptical she gave away this year. Paying someone to come and USE the elliptical at your house is not infact the same things as actually using it homegirl} these are a few of the things that I actually use every day...and a couple things that I am IN LOVE WITH.

First up is Loreal BB cream. This shizz is the BOMB{.com} I literally glow like a freaking angel when I wear it...It evens everything out, and really makes my excessive use of countouring completely invisible. S C O R E. It's about $8 at target.

Next is tarte cheek stain. LOVE it. L O V E. It's $30 at sephora, but lasts forevaaaa. It gives you that pretty glow, like you have when you're pregnant, only with out the cankles and stretch marks. Awesome rite?

This hair mask is ridiculious, as in it makes you feel like you have the hair from the pantiene pro-v comercials. It makes my hair so shiny and soft. I get mine at walmart or target for like $6. It's AMAZEBALLS.

Another Organix product. I like the awapui one that goes with the mask better...BUT it makes my weave greasy and dull from the keratin in it. The shampoo and conditioner are also around $6 each, and literally the BEST product I have ever used in a reasonable price range. I am a hair product w h o r e {der hoarder.} We had a floor to ceiling cabinet that was taller then me and a seven foot long vanity...all the cabinets were full with bottles of my shampoo, conditioner, and other products I got bored of. Adam concequentially also got those as part of the divorce..hmm hopefully slutbag enjoys my addiction. {skank} Okay sorry back to the product. I love organix as a brand, their heat treat serums are also awesome, styling balms wonderful...I love them!

Ahhh my blenderbottle. Hands down the best $7 I have ever spent. I drink a protein shake/iced coffee drink most mornings for my breakfast. This thing is wonderful, everything fits in the bottle, my protein powder, my black cofee, my dash of vanilla almond milk, and my ice...I put the lid on and shake shake shake, shake shake shake {shake my bootyyyy} it comes out perfect. No lumps, and it's easy to travel with.

Monnogramed Iphone case from personalized from me to you. Of course Mama has one and loves it...I can't stand the thought of waiting 3 weeks for the damn thing {instant gratification people} but I will be ordering mine next week. I cannot wait. There are SO many customizable options, I can't make up my mind. They run around $69, but if it saves your iphone, who cares. And I LOVE my current otterbox, I just hate that everyone has the same colors!

*Sigh* Frye boots. Hey gurl Heyyyyyy. I have wanted them for years, Y E A R S. This year my ass is finally small enough that I can tuck my jeans into boots and not look like Chris Cringle himslef. However I have 28 14 1/2 inch muscular calves, and most boots have a 13-15 inch circumferance. Not gonna work. These beauts have a 16 1/2 inch circumference...and they are gorge. So I am stockpiling all my Christmas money to buy the $350 boots. GAGGG. But they're good quality, I'll have them forever {that's what I need to keep telling myself}...

{that shit is supposed to move, and it is HILARIOUS, but I'm still blog illiterate and I have no idea how to make it work, even after reading a bagillion tutorials}

You're getting a car, and you and you and you and you and YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

I W I S H...

This little candy apple is the beautiful Volvo S60. I absolutely love everything about it, and as long as I get this big girl job {which I am VERY confident I did} I will be purchasing myself one. I left Adam the car...I know I know, they call me Alex-Sweetheart I'm the sweetest bitch you'll ever meet {shameless Jersey Shore refernece} I should have taken that shit, at the very least I should have gone all Carrie Underwood on it so he could be paying $500 a month for a busted up car that screamed "I cheated on my wife, she's a badbitch, shortyyyy a Bitch bad, woman good
Lady better, they misunderstood, shorty she's a bad bitch" BUT I didn't. And I'm glad.The other reason I love it is because I am a twihard AND there are wolves on the commercial, I mean one of them could've been Taylor Lautner {DROOL} obvies, I need this car.

big>Okay Elves, bring everyone out their stufffffffff now. You are allllll taking one of everything home with you.... if you buy it sista


  1. I feel your calf problems!!! I finally found a pair of boot that fit! I was so excited when I got them. My calf is over 16" and it is a bummer when you cannot find a pair to fit. I finally found them at American Eagle. They do not go to the knee but mid calf and I am in love.
    I am addicted to reading and new books. I am constantly getting books from the library. Have you tried Crandall Library? It is apart of a library system so if they don't have the book they can have it shipped to them or the library closest to you. I order them all online and pick them up.

  2. Nice list! I love the Coach bag!