Can you divas believe it's already week 11? I know I can't! I was looking through my pictures last night and couldn't believe the dates on some of them, this year so far has just FLOWN by. Not really okay with that, my itty bitty will be three this year in June, so seriously time, slow the flip down!
So this last week was a great one. I hit the over 100 pounds lost mark on Friday and was officially down 104 pounds. It feels great, I think about all the things I've been through over the last 100 pounds, and I honestly cannot believe I survived.
As you know I finally got the guts to try crossfit. I'm addicted. Literally all I think about all day is what the WOD is going to be that night. Usually K sends it to me in the morning, so I have all day to look forward to it
For me this is helping a lot with this whole divorce nonsense. The King isn't what dominates my thoughts all day, hell we don't even talk to The King. He is part of our old life. This new life will yeild a stronger me, physically and mentally, new freindships, new people to love us, and HAPPINESS. We will be happy for the first time in a long time. In the last six months of our seperation there haven't been many times where I can even remember feeling happy at all. Today I can honestly say that I am completely overwhelmed with love and happiness & am so beyond thankful to every single person in mine and Addy's life. Good things are ahead of us
So Friday I was down six pounds for the week, putting me at a total loss of 104 pounds. Monday morning I was up four of those pounds, and today I was down one pound that I had gained. ANNOYING. I think for a while at least I need to take a little hiatius from the scale. Number one I'm going to be building muscle, my muscles are probably going to try and retain a little water because of the new trama they're expirencing. So for the first month that bitch scale and I are breaking up.
It has been a hard adjustment to listen to my body when it says it's hungry this past week. I'm used to my 1200 calories and nothing more, a break from that routine makes me start twitching, not even kidding. This is what I've been doing and it's been working. I've found that I'm NEEDING to eat something ever three hours or so, otherwise I start feeling light headed. I force myself to eat, thinking I'm not hungry then as soon as the food hits my mouth I gobble down whatever it is at record speed! Not relying on the scale, and upping my calories is going to be an adjustment that I'm going to have to get used to. I'm going to try to stay around 1,500-1,700, play with that for a couple weeks and see how it goes.
The body I have now is not the body I want six months from now. I don't even care if I stay this weight for the rest of my life, as long as I'm strong. I'm going to mark my accomplishments in strength instead of weight lost from now on. This week I maxed out my hang clean at 75 pounds, which is good, but I know I could have done more. My back squat maxed out at 75 as well, I KNOW for that I'm strong enough to do more but my lovely knee started to do this awesome snappy thing that scared the crap out of me. I couldn't break 90* either, which ticked me off, but it is NOT worth an injury, I need to really baby this old injury for a few weeks until I get stronger. Another thing that's hard for me, I hate not suceeding.
Seriously if cross fit is something you are even curious about, do it ladies! It is the most freeing rewarding expirence ever!!!! I cannot wait to see what's to come in the next months, I can already notice changes in my body, and mental changes too. Out of this whole awful nasty life change I am turning into a strong, confident, unstoppable woman! The strength physically that crossfit gives me is just a bonus, the mental benefits are unparalleled!