Friday, December 21, 2012

I see a glimpse of recognition, but it's too little too late...

Today is December the 21st, which means two things
One, we are all still here so the world didn't end
AND it is The King and My 6 year dating anniversary.
I had totally forgot all week, until last night as I was falling asleep
I recieved a text message at exactly 12:00am

"Happy Anniversary I love you Al. I'm sorry I ruined your life. Thank you for everything you did for me, and for taking care of Addy. I'm so proud of you for doing this. Your so strong. I couldn't do it. I will always love you."

{I'm with you Alexis my girl. eyeeee rollllll.}

{The Funniest thing I've ever heard boo-boo}

{Tamara, it's pretty redic isn't it}

And then I proceeded to cry myself to sleep, because I had forgotten.
This day no longer has meaning anymore, or significance.
I am healing, I am growing, I am closing the gate.
Now I'm not going to pretend that as I read that message I didn't flash back to 6 years ago
The day he kissed me in the parking lot after we went snowboarding
His big brown eyes, and little brown face


And it made me sad, it made that knot in my gut come back
But today it's gone.
Today when the sun is out I realize he is not that boy, and I am no longer that girl
We have grown apart so much these last six years
{mostly due to his ignorant, unfaithful,abusive behavior}
But none-the-less we have some good memories
and one beautiful child out of the mess he
we made.
{who is mine all mine. put your hands in the air for full custody ladies}
For that I am thankful. Beyond thankful.

In the words of the feirce Diva Christina Aguilera
{because I couldn't say it better myself}

It's time you had a tase of loosing
Time the tables turned around
I see a glimpse of recognition
But it's too little, it's too late
And what you thought was your best decision
Just became your worst mistake...

Chew on that feeling for a while Kinger, that's what you left me with for the last four months. I'm glad you finally came around but boyyy I'm done waiting. Live with the choice you made. It IS and forever will be your biggest mistake.


  1. I'm so proud of you! Don't you just love how they keep in touch at those exact moments just to keep their hooks in you as long as they can?! Ughh, boys boys boys! You're getting stronger every single day and I'm proud of you!!

    And yesss, holla for full custody, thank God!

  2. First of all... Good use of the GIFS lil' Mama! Proud of ya lol Secondly my heart hurt a little bit with this post. I love your face... keep on a truckin my lil love muffn'! We will get you through this! HUGS