Friday, November 23, 2012

Friday Ramblings...

First of all I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving surrounded by all the people you love and hopefully they love you back!
I can definitely say that Adaline and I did!
This was the first holiday in the history of holidays that one of the twenty five bazillion of us didn't cry, fight, or punch eachother rite in the face
I'm not even kidding...
Thanksgiving Eve while we were helping Nana get stuff ready she "jokingly" told us what they said on "The Chew" what was not appropriate for Thanksgiving Table Conversation.

1.Polotics...afterall some of us are still a little wounded from the out come of the election, and my Grandfather MAY most definitely would have had a heart attack if he had to hear some of my cousins talk about their world views.

2.Absolutely Under NO Circumstance Announce You're Going To Rehab...No I'm not even kidding, and yes my family is REALLY that c r a z y!

3. NO Anouncing You're Pregnant...though I really think for the next 5 years atleast, I will be the only parent in the crowd. While everyone likes to play with Adaline, they think children are gross...I know they're really weird. SO the next one to get pregnant will probably be me in a bagillion years, after my divorce to The Snake is finalized, and Prince Charming falls from the heavens and rite into my l a p!

3. NO Announcing Engagements...I think Holidays are a good time to do things like that...everyone is all together for one of the three times a year that they actually are forced to be in the same room BUT apparently it's not socially acceptable.

4. NO "Diet" Talk...Nan says it will make others feel bad, as their shoving their faces at a record pace, meanwhile you are chomping on celery talking about loosing weight. ((By the way, just for the record, I did NOT chomp on any celery...that wasn't stuffed with cream cheese that is.)) Two of my Aunts are former fatties who lost a T O N of weight a few years ago, and the rest of us of course are on the constant rollercaoster of up and down, so we are all always dieting. Just not on Holidays. Extra Gravy and Butter please... yesterday was definately a carb day for everyone! Besides my cousin that is, he spent the day vomiting away his hangover...maybe that's why he's the only skinny one...we all need to drink excessively, and skip big family meals because we can't get out of the bathroom. Probably not the best plan.

5. Button The Lip...yah, we really do usually fight, cry, and hurt eachother's feelings BUT yesterday was really sucessful. No one got mad at anyone, no one cried, no one offended Poppa... And we were all on our best behavior But we still have to make it through Christmas! But maybe that's because none of us were drinking now that I think about it. Maybe we need to have more sober holidays!!...that will never happen.

Now Nana said all this in a "joking" manner BUT I think she was really actaully serious...and it worked! I really enjoyed my family yesterday, I was thankful no one talked or asked about Adam, and when I felt like someone was going to, I just avoided eye contact! ha I'm not even kidding, it was like the thing Addy does when she know's I'm going to try to make her do something she doesn't want to do...If I can't see you you're not there, if I can't see you I definitely can't hear you! Adaline however when we stopped giving her gum told everyone her Daddy was going to the store to get gum, on a one knew what to say and just looked at me, and I just was like "uhhhh shoot me I don't know what she's talking about, please excuse me while I go throw myself out the window" Adam has never been around for the Holiday's, he has been deployed the last three years September/October-January. Mandy Pants ((of course because she's the bomb diggity)) pointed out that obviously GOD did that on purpose to make this lovely living hell easier for me...or well at least we wouldn't look back at past years family photos and be sad that he won't be there this year, because Adaline and I are the only ones in them! SCORE! Truthfully, he hasn't been there for a whole lot in the last 4 years of our marriage, so eventhough it feels like there's a hole inside me...I don't think its HIM I'm missing, I think it's the idea of him, and the "beautiful" life we had. I can honestly say I did not miss Adam, although it was absolutely awful to hear Addy missing him. Lately I have been having dreams at night about me walking across the stage in my cap and gown, 50 pounds thinner of course, instead of nightmares about Adam with his new family. I think it's safe to say I'm letting go of how I thought my life was going to go, and ready to take a leap into the future, with all the people who love Addy and I by my side to support me, and make a life for me and my baby bear!


I ate like a cow yesterday, well honestly looking at years past, I think I ate less, I didn't finish my first plate, didn't get a second, and didn't eat myself into a coma. That's a good sign. Later in the day, I DID have extra mashed potatoes, becaue ohhh baby they are my favorite, and I honestly do not think I have eaten them in at least 6 months. Nothing better then a bowl full of butter, and starch. I didn't eat any rolls though...I am a recovering bread addict,((I've only completed through step 5 of 7))...needless to say I was really proud of my self. I'm that person who would literally hide in a closet with fresh bread and a stick of butter, well actually I never did that (suprisingly) BUT I did often eat it as I cooked AND cleaned up dinner.Today I am drinking my protein shake in my new awesome Blender Bottle, and I feel like a muscle woman...because obviously, drinking out of the cup just instantaniously rockets you to skinny beastdom. If only. It really does work though, and I'm thoroughally impressed, no clumps in my shake this morning!

Once I get out of work today (yes I am one of the unlucky ones who didn't get a four day weekend) I have to go christmas dress hunting for addy and I, tomorrow we have breakfast with Santa! SO excited, she practically spontaneously combusted when she saw him at the Macy's Day Parade yesterday (yes we did watch it, and no I didn't poke my eyes out) She will most definately have a heart attack tomorrow when she sees "Santa" in real life. Wish me luck, and say a little prayer for me, hopefully by 3:00pm when I go all the crazies will have gone home to rest. I loathe Black Friday, and will not fight someone for ANY material thing!...within reason ;)

Stay tuned tomorrow for more pictures of Pretty Princess with "Santyyy" Hopefully all you freakshows that woke up at 2:00am to brave the crowds to save $50 on a toy for your snotty nose kid wonderful little child made it out alive!!


Happy Black Friday Everyone


  1. prince charming really CAN fall into your lap after you have been married to the devil. It happened to me! and gaaaaah, I wish the road to MILFdom was just a bit shorter and easier. :)

    1. I think if nothing else, being married to the "devil" teaches you what you really don't want! AND I wish it were freaking shorter's been 2 years now. I want my flipping body back. AND if the stretchmarks decide to vacate my bod in the process, you won't hear me complain! :)

  2. I am dying... You are too funny... Are you sure we don't come from THE EXACT SAME family?! :)

    1. I think everyone has a family full of freaks, and if they say they don't...they are lying through their teeth!! I will always be the first to say we all probably should be instatutionalized!!! We are the lucky ones :)

  3. I think I love your Nana...and totally agree with rule #4! Holidays are a no-diet zone, period. If I am going to be in the presence of delicious food, I am going to stuff my face until my belly hurts! That's just the way it is :)

    1. She IS the best woman in this whole world. Seriously. We are all absolutely insane & she takes everything in stride. She's getting sassy in her old age!