Reasons & Excuses

SO yesterday I had to go to the doctors.
I had been dreading it really, for the same reason I think most of us do
The scale at the doctor's always is a L I A R
Though that is what we tell ourselves I think by now we all know, that is just not the truth. At All.
The Scale NEVER lies.

Well...surprise suprise, I gained weight.
I am now officially over 200lbs again, 202.
It was probably the jeans I was wearing...or maybe my scarf

That means I have gained 7 pounds since I moved home 10 weeks ago.
I don't know how that happened?...HA I know EXACTLY how that happened
MAYBE it was the fact that I've been eating all the things that I know I'm not supposed to, not doing one bit of exercise because it is too dang cold to run outside, drinking lots of alcohol with my girlfriends, which I know is the sweet nectar of the gods poison to my body!
((Over the summer I did an expirement, a month with out alcohol, and that was my most sucessful month, 10 pounds lost because I cut alcohol in addition to my exercising & diet.))

Okay so moving forward to Reasons & Excuses...
I have been coming up with reasons I'm not loosing weight..
--I'm back at work 30+ hours a week, when I get home I just want to put on my sweats and hang out with Adaline!
--I'm gonig through a major life overhaul, a divorce and cross country move...home & am now living BACK with my parents.
--I'm back on my anxiety and depression medicine, which I have been off of for 3+ years
--The only way my girlfriends and I have "fun" involves alcohol & food.

ALL OF THOSE ARE REASONS...BUT THEY ARE ALSO EXCUSES
And the only person I'm hurting with my excuses is MYSELF

I was planning on starting the medifast thing this week, but then I realized I would want to kill myself for spending close to $400 a month on MYSELF! SO I am going back to my old routine.

I will be making my meal plan at the beginning of the week, prepping all my food, and freakin' sticking to it!
Tonight I am also RESTARTING my body pump 90 day challenge!

It's really just not a choice anymore, I know I always say, "this time will be different" BUT this time really HAS to be different! I do not have that encouragement from my husband telling me I'm sexy and wanting to be with me anymore, loving my FAT ass when I HATE it. Now it's just me and my bod, and I need to be happy with me before I can find happiness with someone else!
Not to mention it's holiday time and that means every overweight person's worst nightmare...
P I C T U R E S
ahhh run for your lives, stick that hip out, put your hand on it, suck it in...and don't forget to point your chin up, chest out && make sure that arm is lookin' skinny!!
This year I would like to not have to make every picture a process. I want my confidence back, I want MYSELF back.
For SEVEN years I have been someone elses, I gave all my strength, love, encouragement, and effort to someone else.
NOT ANYMORE
Now it's MY turn!

Today after work, I will be heading to the grocery store, then coming home to do the momma thing, and when 8pm bed time rolls around I will be prepping to sweat it out with my Les Mills buddies!!!

Stay tuned for a horrifying before picture tomorrow!