Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Reasons & Excuses

SO yesterday I had to go to the doctors.
I had been dreading it really, for the same reason I think most of us do
The scale at the doctor's always is a L I A R
Though that is what we tell ourselves I think by now we all know, that is just not the truth. At All.
The Scale NEVER lies.

Well...surprise suprise, I gained weight.
I am now officially over 200lbs again, 202.
It was probably the jeans I was wearing...or maybe my scarf

That means I have gained 7 pounds since I moved home 10 weeks ago.
I don't know how that happened?...HA I know EXACTLY how that happened
MAYBE it was the fact that I've been eating all the things that I know I'm not supposed to, not doing one bit of exercise because it is too dang cold to run outside, drinking lots of alcohol with my girlfriends, which I know is the sweet nectar of the gods poison to my body!
((Over the summer I did an expirement, a month with out alcohol, and that was my most sucessful month, 10 pounds lost because I cut alcohol in addition to my exercising & diet.))

Okay so moving forward to Reasons & Excuses...
I have been coming up with reasons I'm not loosing weight..
--I'm back at work 30+ hours a week, when I get home I just want to put on my sweats and hang out with Adaline!
--I'm gonig through a major life overhaul, a divorce and cross country move...home & am now living BACK with my parents.
--I'm back on my anxiety and depression medicine, which I have been off of for 3+ years
--The only way my girlfriends and I have "fun" involves alcohol & food.

And the only person I'm hurting with my excuses is MYSELF

I was planning on starting the medifast thing this week, but then I realized I would want to kill myself for spending close to $400 a month on MYSELF! SO I am going back to my old routine.

I will be making my meal plan at the beginning of the week, prepping all my food, and freakin' sticking to it!
Tonight I am also RESTARTING my body pump 90 day challenge!

It's really just not a choice anymore, I know I always say, "this time will be different" BUT this time really HAS to be different! I do not have that encouragement from my husband telling me I'm sexy and wanting to be with me anymore, loving my FAT ass when I HATE it. Now it's just me and my bod, and I need to be happy with me before I can find happiness with someone else!
Not to mention it's holiday time and that means every overweight person's worst nightmare...
ahhh run for your lives, stick that hip out, put your hand on it, suck it in...and don't forget to point your chin up, chest out && make sure that arm is lookin' skinny!!
This year I would like to not have to make every picture a process. I want my confidence back, I want MYSELF back.
For SEVEN years I have been someone elses, I gave all my strength, love, encouragement, and effort to someone else.
Now it's MY turn!

Today after work, I will be heading to the grocery store, then coming home to do the momma thing, and when 8pm bed time rolls around I will be prepping to sweat it out with my Les Mills buddies!!!

Stay tuned for a horrifying before picture tomorrow!

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