falling apart. breaking down...starting over

Since I last posted, my husband Adam, dropped the
Wait for it....
"I don't want to do this any more" BOMBBBB!
AKA I'm a selfish douche who can't man up and be the father and husband I promised to be
"I need some time alone to find myself" mid-life crisis a little bit early Adam?
I cried, I prayed, I questioned what I did wrong...
Through all that I realized
I did NOTHING wrong
&& EVERYTHING right
I found GOD's grace when I truly needed strenght the most
AND eventhough I cried and cried and couldn't bear to eat
I didn't loose a freakin pound!

I thought stress was supposed to make me thin...
Like crack addict SKINNYYYYYYY.
It didn't.
I thought my world was ending.
It didn't.
I'm still here...
And best of all
I HAVE MY BEBE
And we have all our family around!
Woot. Woot.

Well once Addy and I moved all our stuff back to New York
((and I burried Adam's body in the back yard with his disgusting girlfriend))
I kid I kid. But I DID think about it...more then once

My amazing parents came and got us and as much stuff as we could fit in the uhaul..
And our new life began...
Then eating began.
I eat my emotions...it's my BIGGEST flaw.
Plus there is all the yummy food to eat && LOTS of alchol to drannnkk with my crayy crayy best friends ((who I have missed OH so very much))
SO no insane weight loss here...
But no real gain either.
I got down to 195 before we moved home, now I am back at 200.
If you saw the way I have been eating, you would be suprised it's only 5 pounds.

Well now that I am a "Single Mother"...((GAGGGGG))
I am back at work 30 hours a week, still doing my school, and trying to do the mommy thing
Thank the lord for my amazing family.
I now have WAY less time to plan my meals, and spend 2+ hours exercising every day.
SO time to try something different!

This week I will be starting medifast.
One of our amazing family friends has lost like a million pounds on the program
And is now becoming a coach.
SO why not try it!
I've done tons of research && am excited to try this new method.
NOW if only I can find the energy to exercise again!
dun dun dun!

Once I begin, I will be adding a true before picture, weekly weigh in's, and progress checks to keep me motivated!