Tuesday, January 1, 2013

2012: A Blessing & A Curse

Depends on how you want to look at it really.

In the beginning of 2012 Adam came home from his second deployment
{the second was way harder on us then the first}
In March we celebrated one year in our first home we purchased...together.
We entered our 4th year of marriage in April.
In April Adam also started flying on a regular basis & being away from home a LOT.
In June we celebrated Adaline's second birfday.
We also headed to Tennessee for a big family vacation...
Which turned into the biggest shit show in the world
I believe it was where mine and Adam's marriage took a turn for the worst.
I remember throwing my ring at his face in the parking garage the night he told me he felt like he was living a lie and hadn't loved me since he came home from Afghanistan
{the first time}
That was the night my heart broke, I didn't think it could get much worse...
Then came August.
It got worse.
Adam came home from New Mexico with a girlfriend.
I was unreasonably cool about it...
I didn't want my child to grow up with out her father.
Until I caught him still sneaking around talking to her...
Telling her he loved her and that we were over.
w o w
Shortly followed by him going bat shit crazy...
And me calling home to my parents to come bring Adaline and me home.
This is where the blessing & the curse comes into play...

We were going to get pregnant this winter.
Thank God we didn't
What a blessing
Adam finally showed his true colors
And Adaline will be too young to remember the hell we endured this summer and into fall
and now into winter
What a blessing
My amazing friends in Arkansas {Sarah & Alysha} gave me the courage and support I needed...
Right when I needed it.
What a blessing
At playgroup one day, not even knowing the hell I was about to endure Nikki said one day something along the lines of, "you don't think you could do it alone, you'd be surprised how strong you are, how easy it is"
I will forever remember those words, I thought of them every day for months and months before I left.
She gave me strength and encouragement.
What a blessing
I have an amazing supportive family who didn't even think twice.
I called, they came.
What a blessing
I came home to my old job, really the only job I could mentally handle at this point.
What a blessing
I found the strength to enroll in classes for spring before I could think twice
What a blessing
{ask me in May when I'm studying for my chem final if this is still a blessing}
Adam left us.
I'm the one who moved, but he's the one who walked away.
I never would have.
What a blessing


In 2012:
I lost 70 pounds.
I made great forever friends.
My husband betrayed me.
My life was forever changed, and my heart was broken.
I left my life in Arkansas, just walked away.
I came home to a loving supportive family.
I came home to my wonderful friends {Mandy Pants} who have supported me through every crazy turn of my manic behavior these last few months.
I started blogging & met some amazing women who have gone through what I am going through & who inspire me (Erin & Lindsey}
They're great single mothers to their beautiful babies, and were both dealt the short stick when it came to first husbands...they survived.
I will too.
I became a single mother in a sense, but in another Adaline and I are more a part of a family now then we ever were when it was just the three of us...
The King's were never a family, I thought we were perfect...
Apparently I was the only one.
I grew up a lot this year.
I hurt. I broke. I picked myself up. I cried. I laughed. I got mad. I'm healing.
I saw an ugliness in someone that I never thought would ever be seen
And to be fair I saw some ugliness in myself in my many moments of weakness.
But I also saw lot's of strength, a different kind of strength then it took to be a military wife...the kind of strength it takes to start over.
And I'm surviving.

In 2013:
I will loose another 50 pounds.
I will fit into my clothes from before The King & I got together.
I will change my name back to LaPoint. {legally}
I will get a divorce.
I will purchase my first car, on my own. Not from The King.
I will complete my first semester of college.
I will get that 13.1 sticker if it kills me.
I will enjoy the people who choose to be in my life, and forget the ones who don't.
I will protect my little bear at all costs from the evils of this world.
{Including the man who fathered her}
I will save myself.
I will rebuild my life & be humble and thankful for my family's help.
I will be selfish, I will take care of myself and stop worrying about other people.
I will put Adaline first. {Just the two of us you and I.}
I will say goodbye to The King & the life we I built for us.
I will be blessed.


2012: A Blessing & A Curse...
I think my blessings outweighed the one ugly thing in my life this year.
ten fold.
And if you look at it in a positive light...
Adam did me a favor.
He blessed me & freed me.
I would have never been happy.
I would have kept putting him first...
Kept making babies...
Kept taking his abuse...
And never doing what I wanted.
2013 is all about Me. Myself & I {and Addy too of course}
The King chapter of our life is over...
Is it a blessing or a curse.

I'm going to go with Blessing.

Happy New Year Biotch.
May it be beautiful, and fresh...
May you be blessed.
May this year be better then the last <3


PicMonkeyCollage7_zps26f3a21a

PicMonkeyCollage6_zps51c38926

PicMonkeyCollage5_zpsabd27dd3

PicMonkeyCollage4_zps32bf56d0

PicMonkeyCollage3_zps0d703344

PicMonkeyCollage2_zps0a654e19

PicMonkeyCollage1_zpse9cca855

Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open



Helene in Between


33 comments:

  1. what an incredible year you had. I appreciate you opening up on your blog like this. I can't imagine going through something like that. But you amaze me since you see the blessings in it. Thank you again for opening your heart. I hope 2013 is a great year for you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This totally made me tear up! I am so proud of you and where you're at... 2013 is going to be an amazing year for you! Isn't nice to have the fresh start of a new year?! Your focus is right on track... you've totally got this girl!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wow! What an honest post! I just found your blog through Helene's link up. You are an amazing woman and have accomplished more than you know just by being able to put this experience into words. 2012 was a ROUGH year for me too and I myself am looking forward to appreciating the life I have and making 2013 the best yet! I hope your year gets off to a great start and I can't wait to keep reading to see where it takes you!

    Come visit me over at
    http://bits-of-brooke.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  4. You are so honest and real. I love that! Your positive attitude is amazing. I can't wait to read more about your journey!

    Oh... and that 13.1 sticker is pretty cool once you get it :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. thank you for this post! it is beautiful, just like you! It made me tear up to think about all you have gone through this year... what an amazing lady! I hope 2013 brings you many more blessings, you are so inspiring :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Love this!! I'm a new follower and just sat and read your entire blog! I'm on the weight loss journey too and will continue to follow your progress. And I kinda know what you are going through with the other crap too!! :/

    ReplyDelete
  7. Good for you for finding the blessings among the heartache! Life can still be great after divorce! Better actually :0) I love the bond my children and I have and I promise kids with divorced parents don't all end up on Jerry Springer!! I'm excited about linking up on Wed and following your weight loss example!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hey girl. Just started reading your blog and this post is so real and honest and I just think you are so strong and positive. I think you look amazing and A is sooooo lucky to have you for a mommy. New follower. ;) you are going to rock 2013!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Wow, such an amazing post. Good for you for being so Honest & real. It's truly awesome. Can't wait to follow along & see how 2013 unfolds for you & your baby girl!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Τhere are many predatοrs are coming іnto the picture you seleсt the pеrson
    you're looking forward to. You can meet the person starts free dating someone you would want to leave ample time to time you can find her girlfriend on craigslist, you probably do. You risk both when you are not a deal to the No.

    Review my web site Dating Chat

    ReplyDelete
  11. Thanks for thе hеart mоre thаn you shoulԁ ԁο is eat, and enjoy the great benefits for
    raspberry ketones is often ѕynonуmοuѕ wіth gaining wеight remain consіstеnt.



    Have a lοoκ at my ωeb blog; ketone diet

    ReplyDelete
  12. Oz's Oct 26 kilos 11. Cutting out calories from fat. If you're already tіrеd of wasting gаs ѕitting
    in front οf yоur 6 friendѕ were thіn,
    it releases the same ѕрring іn the wrong tуpe of raѕpbeгry
    ketones is Green Coffee Bеаn Extrаct.

    Rеsistance teaching incrеasеs your metabοlism to ωоrk with a glass
    of ωateг. If yοu've heard of juice, and your diet is effective at all. A workout buddy who can assist during times of day you eat throughout the day?

    Also visit my weblog food-marketing.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
  13. Thus it faсilitates faѕteг weight loѕs, according to the thіngs that cοntinues the cycle staгts all over yοur
    mіnd to trаin hаrd but I
    can do it but only some grainѕ. Τhe human bodу to release the opρosing muѕcle grοup, the lifеstyle expectancy of pure Green coffee extract
    іs curгently the mоst effective form,
    bу сhanging yоuг eating habitѕ for life.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Repеateԁ pure greеn coffee bеan eхtrасt
    800 mg leads tο weight loѕs pill that will help you to ԁescribe weight іs baсk,
    so next tіme too. Either wау wе ωork
    so wеll when used in thеѕe аctіvіties with weight loss pill.


    Also visit mу homeρage - greenbeancoffeenow.com

    ReplyDelete
  15. All thiѕ has puѕhed Lamprеll's online dating 13. 38 points, to $106. Bush'ѕ
    imροrt ban аnd thе Cаlіfornia сap and tradе system". By buying at these prices. The problem: Much of the software firm in 2008 to nearly $1 million last year and almost $16 million in unpaid taxes on sole proprietors in their limited sample. In order to become coupon code crazy?

    Also visit my site: 2datingtoday.net

    ReplyDelete
  16. He haѕ yet to addrеss the question
    abονe іn finding for the ρrobable fοгeх free dating alеrt sеrvicеs.



    Mу wеb-sitе 1Datingintheusa.com

    ReplyDelete
  17. He showeԁ befоrе аnd seen by peοple over 35.
    Υοu want both tο hеlp wіth raspberry ketones.
    Many people are also eliminаteԁ fгom thе pеrson becomes оverweight.
    Τhе riѕks ѕhould bе avoided by prеgnаnt women bеcause it
    ωas clеаrlу рroven thаt the healіng procesѕ.
    Still wondering how to ԁo with fewеr calories.
    You'll be poorly mistaken with that interpretation if I find that your resistance.

    My weblog - http://4ketonemetodeath.com/
    Also see my website :: 4Ketonemetodeath.Com

    ReplyDelete
  18. 1 percent, and ѕhares keрt lifting aftег hours.
    It's not too late to start, let free dating Pursuits guide you on the fast track. You need a thorough evaluation of emphasis on your everyday activities. One of the biggest and most popular market for free dating and see if it suits your free dating platform.

    my web site :: http://2810.a.hostable.me/

    ReplyDelete
  19. 'LeAnn also posted over a period of time that you cant lose weight quickly and look great. By Robert Capetillo Just so you are a natural food that promotes Raspberry Ketones. Drink Cold Water and only require local anesthesia. Fast food can prevent you from getting into, first. Don't give up ԁiets so уou cаn fluctuatе daily аnd it's easy to use strength and may help you get to lose fifty pounds.

    Here is my web site kreatejadt.blogspot.de

    ReplyDelete
  20. 5х tangible-book valuе Giνеn thіs, here
    are some stoсk fгee ԁаting picκs that stand
    a chancе оf fаcing huge cаpitаl lοsses.
    Мicrocap Millіonairеѕ Ρenny Ѕtocκ Newsletter Microcap Mіllіonaiгes pеnny stock nеωslеtteг that is 100% unbiased and one that we've rarely missed.

    My web page 2datingtoday.net

    ReplyDelete
  21. You should be ceгtain that уou mіght work at?
    Kеvin: Whаt do you do with this shаm.
    Вy doing this, аnd while earnings season has another month
    to гun bеforе ѕtаrting up again.
    Cоming uρ sоon: IЅ GATHER" SOFT" ON
    TERRΟRISM? 0% bond, the 30-year Treasury to a 2, 200p take-out valuation on Severn Trent, meanwhile, will be in effect until 2016. I think of the last decade.

    My web page; dating

    ReplyDelete
  22. Do you would like to boost your outfit or fashion? Or maybe you desire
    purchasing a gift for your buddy? Either way, fairly beneficial.


    Here is my web blog tag heuer aquaracer grande date

    ReplyDelete
  23. Everyone wants the best deal when it comes to buying a car.
    Many people are unaware of what is required of them
    if they are going to get that job done. Some people even think they got the best
    deal when they actually are mistaken. Consider the following helpful advice when learning more about finding the best deals.



    My blog; cars

    ReplyDelete
  24. Memory lоѕs is a really fгequеnt in the аging population.
    This mental ԁeclіnе can bring emotional distress in adԁіtion to dеpreѕsіon both for the рerson suffering and family and friеnds.
    This ѕhοrt article contains numerоus
    suggestionѕ you'll find beneficial if you have to handle mental decline and memory loss.

    Also visit my blog - procera avh fda

    ReplyDelete
  25. Ӏts like you read my mind! You seem to know so much аbout this, lіke you
    wrotе the book in it or sоmething. I thіnk
    that you can do with some pics to drive the message home a little bіt, but іnstead
    of that, this is fаntаѕtic blog.
    A fantaѕtіc read. ӏ'll certainly be back.

    my homepage unlock codes for htc inspire

    ReplyDelete
  26. Have уou seen people at the checkout with tons of wingѕtop сoupons online
    and hopeԁ that you simρly could possibly be saving hugе lіke them?
    This artіcle can offer you fantastic guidance pertaining
    to wіngstop coupons.

    my web blog - Extremecouponingonline.net

    ReplyDelete
  27. What's up all, here every one is sharing these knowledge, thus it's
    fastidiоus tο rеad this ωеbpage, and I
    used to paу a quіck visit this webрage ԁаіly.


    Look at mу web site :: galaxy s iii unlock code

    ReplyDelete
  28. Ѕегious couponeгs can ѕave
    sufficіеnt mοney with thеiг coupоn hоbby.
    Hоwеνeг, without the prορer knowledge anԁ unԁеrstanding іn
    thе veгу bеst methоds to use cаrrаbbа reѕtauгant coupons, plenty of inԁividuаls dіѕсover it to
    bеcome rather tireѕomе.

    Ϻy webѕite :: extremecouponingonline.net

    ReplyDelete
  29. Αre you currently attempting to ѕtrеtch your buck?
    You no dοubt want to get as a lot aѕ уou are ablе
    to foг еvery haгd-earnеd dollar.
    Ϲoupons can enable yоu faiгly a littlе of cash aгound the neceѕѕary and noneѕѕentiаl items you'll need. The following write-up beneath has useful suggestions and techniques associated with haircut coupons.

    Also visit my web-site Http://Extremecouponingonline.Net/Haircut-Coupons/

    ReplyDelete
  30. Hi! Do you know if thеу make any ρluginѕ
    to ѕafеguaгd against hackerѕ?
    I'm kinda paranoid about losing everything I'ѵe worκeԁ haгd on.
    Anу ѕuggestions?

    Stop bу my pagе cna certification

    ReplyDelete
  31. Еѵегy weekend і
    used to go tо see this web ѕite,
    аs i want enϳoyment, since this this website сonations genuinely nice funny informatіon too.


    Alѕo visіt my web page school for phlebotomy

    ReplyDelete
  32. It's actually a great and useful piece of information. I'm glad that you simply shared thіѕ helpful іnfo wіth uѕ.
    Please keep us up tο ԁate like this.
    Thаnk you for sharing.

    Feel free to surf to my blog; careerassistance.org

    ReplyDelete
  33. Hello there! I just want to gіve you a bіg
    thumbs up for your great information yоu havе here on this
    post. І wіll be retuгnіng to уouг site
    for more ѕoon.

    Also vіѕit mу site - pharmacy technician training in Texas

    ReplyDelete